Going back to work

Day 1:

Worst day of my life! I was away from Jackson for 11 hours :( My Mom picked him up at 5:30am and I left shortly after that. I stopped at Starbucks because I had a free coffee! and was in Bellevue by 6:15am. My shift starts at 7am... so I had some time to kill, the only thing is if I leave any later than I will get stuck in traffic. Boo. 

I feel very out of place at work right now. They have me working in our Cypress Lounge which is the restaurant as a "greeter" and it is very slow and all I think about is how much I miss Jackson. I cried at least 3 times at work because I miss him so much. I also cried before and after work. LOL.

I was freaking out also because they wanted to give me Saturday and Sundays off... who doesn't want those days off... ME, I would have been in love with those days off before I had Jackson, but now it's all about him and I'm not going to have a stranger watch my baby and I'm not going to work to pay someone to watch him. 

So I'm missing my baby like no other, my uniform doesn't fit, I feel like I'm the new person (around the time I left all the staff either quit or was promoted). and now I don't know who is going to watch Jackson for me :( 

Day 2:

Day 2 wasn't so bad. In the morning Paul, the manager of Cypress was at work (he had been sick the day before.) and he taught me what I was going to be doing in the Cypress and we talked about my days off...although he really didn't need me on the weekends, he understood being a parent himself how important it is to be with my baby and not a stranger and he let me have Monday, Tuesday AND Wednesday off because I had no one those days. 

I will eventually go back to five days but right now I don't have anyone to watch him. Tim is in school and gets paid for going so we will be okay until June taking a pay cut and then I can pick up a night shift or maybe I'll have found someone who can watch him by then. I'm going to ask my grandma and see if she can. For now I'm happy with 3 days off. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be leaving my baby. 

This week I'm only working Thursday and Friday again. Friday Jackson will be 12 weeks old! Next week I will go back full time :( I'm going to miss my baby so much, but I feel so much better knowing he will be in good hands when I'm gone AND I get an extra day with him!

Jackson in his Baby Bjorn the day we went to Seattle...more pictures to come.